Category: street life

  • nasally responsible

    On the subway I sat down next to a guy who was remarkably good looking. Tall and well set up, he sat at his ease, one leg crossed over the other and his knee splayed. I glanced sideways at him as I got my work out of my bag: Mmm, cute! Well dressed, too, in an unfussy way. Ah well.

    Next moment a movement had made me look up. There was his index finger, earnestly engaged in a twirling wiping motion, sunk in the nostril nearest to me down to its second joint. He wasn’t just foraging around in there, either: he was after something specific. He found that something and drew it out and rolled it. I felt myself stiffen and flinch. Was this man about to engage the public flick? I was right in his path. He had not glanced up, he was reading. Oh god. Then he did something far worse – and unconscious, and clearly habitual – he stuck his hand under the raised seat of his trousers and wiped his fingers onto the cloth under his thigh.

    Without planning to I had cried out, “No!” I gathered my stuff and struggled to stand. The train had taken off and was rattling through the old tunnels so fast it was hard to get past the vortex of our own movement. Gathering my long umbrella, gloves, hat, scarf, notebook, and pen I got clear of the long bench and began to walk in comical slow motion away from this beast, this monster, this person who behaves as though we none of us exist around him and he is disporting himself in the playground of his own world alone. I was crying with laughter and disgust. The train seemed to grow more crowded as I plunged slowly down, curled forward with effort, swaying at every corner, and I found a ‘sit place’ as Germans call it between a Turkish woman shrouded in her scarf and a young African man sprawled around his phone. Both of them contracted themselves very slightly, out of habit, to make way for the arrival of a fresh human. Thank you, Germany.

  • autumbled

    Autumn in Berlin and the grimy guy begging outside our supermarket is absorbed in a book. When I come home he’s set it down to thank a woman who dropped some coins into his smashed paper cup. It is Sylvia Plath.

    I prefer him to the punker dude who spreads himself with a large dog either side right in front of the sliding doors, then leans far across the pavement to make elaborate drawings in chalk which people then have to step around. His begging seems to me a form of veiled aggression. It is a set-up that forces compliance on every passerby, lest we tread on his art.

    The two months I was away I compared the daily forecasts and found Brisbane, in its winter, was invariably a degree or two warmer than here. Summer has been short and late. Just last week on the canalside two boys in the late sun were playing chess. These are the last days, and it will be so cold til June next year we will see nothing of each other but our faces.

  • love is the what

    Reaching my Kiez in the late afternoon* I nearly ran into a boy-girl couple kissing strenuously outside the Turkish supermarket. This supermarket annoys me because they always reel off too many plastic bags and I have seen a man who had put his single apple into one bag accept another bag to carry it home in. My, how they kissed. He was twisting on his feet. She opened her mouth and throat, tipping back her head. I was so rejoiced by them I started to laugh, and then the flirty guy on the nub of the corner who sells his own ice cream laughed along with me, though he through an accident of geography had missed the kiss.

    I went onto the market. Berlin markets start late. You can go down there at ten or even eleven and find people still sleepily setting up. But as the afternoon ripens it has settled into a groovous swing – that is the opposite of grievous, I suppose – a grievous swing, specially down the other end where there’s a platform built out over the water and it’s filled with people, many of them just gazing and smiling but some with their eyes closed or even eyes open are dancing, from a sitting position or standing up to shake it out. Two guys with a microphone had set up their bag. And were piling us all into it, gleefully. Och music. You’re indescribable, I know. I came through the markets carrying my head on its stalk and I have lost a little weight just lately and with it, years, and the man who sells bolts of plain linen and cotton, unbleached – are there that many painters in the region? – smiled at me lingeringly, when I glanced back and smiled he was still smiling and he tipped at me his head, consideringly, almost obsequious. That is what beauty can do for us and I had forgotten, but now I remembered.

    At the jewellery stall set up on a bin with a velvet-clad board clapped over it by a Japanese man who wears busy gathered pants and feathers woven in his hair, another beautiful guy with golden shoulders was standing with his arms out and his hands held up, tilting his head from one ring to another, determining which one set off his gorgeousness the best. He amused but he bored me. I’ve known those men. At the organic vege stall run by curmudgeonly lesbians who all live together on a smallholding outside Berlin I asked, Hey, can I photograph your beetroots? They just look so proud there on their blue background, holding out their leaves. Yes, she said, winnowing flowering green leaves which are sold by the hundred grams for a woman who had two children with her, each child carrying her own tiny handbag and each pushing her own tiny pram. I left off grooving and came up home, walking on the other side of the market street, past the stall which sells nine types of potatoes. And as I came past the cheese lady who cuts pale butter off a sweetly sweating slab I ran across those same two kids, still kissing, wringing the greenery out of this day which as a leaf this afternoon fell past me just as my shutter clicked surely must be one of the last days of the year on which we can wander and groove, we can kiss in the streets and call out to one another, hey Berlin. I passed a discount stall flogging cheaply printed night shirts in cellophane, one of them said, in curly handwriting font, LOVE IS THE but I turned it over and discovered there was a slab of cardboard slid down the back, to stiffen the shirt for display, and that covered the rest of the words and though my mind flooded with suggestions I could not make it out. Now I have to spend the rest of my life wondering. What is love?

    *Kiez is the few streets between you and your main roads: your own neighbourhood.

  • cigarette break

    A lot of noise round the house today as the Hausmeister – Deutschland brims with masters – has called a gang of workmen in to saw back the thorny bushes round the huddle of bins. Our bin system is complex because everything gets recycled – everything but, puzzlingly, aluminium and steel. The thorny bushes make it hard to access the bike racks without scoring one’s skin and I welcomed the intrusion, but after a couple of hours of swearing and sawing I took refuge in a cafe I love, to try to do a bit of writing.

    I miss Brisbane but I’m not missing having to google “cafes open past 2pm” when I want to work later. This place is groaning with shelves of books and they let me sit on a sagging couch with a single coffee in front of me for nearly three hours. I came out into the lissom afternoon and joined the slow streams of people heading down to the underground station. A man was playing the flute, with his eyes closed. He was entranced.

    The first flush of leaves has hit the ground and to me it feels too soon. I’m not ready! I rode home via train and bus and train because the middle section of the line was being repaired and in Berlin everybody files in orderly fashion from the ‘replacement vehicle’ back onto the interrupted line and sits down. When I had left, two tree surgeons were standing at the street entrance of my house in boiler suits, smoking by the big glass doors. When I came back hours later they were still there. As I came up to them, I had started to laugh. “Sie waren beide hier,” I explained, “als ich rausgegangen bin. Und es scheint meinetwegen zu sein, als ob es eigentlich eine sehr sehr lange Zigarettenpause war.” You were both here when I went out. From my point of view it is tempting to assume this was a very very long cigarette break. They looked uncertain. Were they being criticised, by a stranger? Then one man smiled. “So viele Zigaretten können wir gar nicht rauchen,” he said. We can’t smoke that many. “Wir schaffen es gar nicht.” We just wouldn’t manage it.

  • Chinatown!

    It took me four hours to make my way across town, people kept shaking their heads. “Too far for walking.” “There won’t be much happening,” said the girl who’d been to Brisbane and Sydney, “the night markets are closed Mondays.” Late night shops spilled onto pavement and street, selling nothing I recognised. Explosive seething crowds sat stuffing themselves. I had a plate of something peculiar and slippery with pork and a durian ice cream pungent with sweet rot which I can still taste hours later. At Hua Lamphong, the huge hooped central station, people lay splayed on sheets of cardboard motionless and most of them asleep. But when a ute backed in stacked with bottles of water, a hundred people jumped up and ran; they were queuing back to the end of the taxi rank before I could work out what it was. At first I thought they were all hoping to be given a lift, in the tray of his tiny vehicle.

  • a night and a day

    I spent 36 hours in Bangkok and it seemed to me just like the Jakarta of my childhood, that dense crowded lost world. Our flight was three hours late and I had missed the shared minibus from the airport. A series of people gave me courteously conflicting advice. You must go to Gate 3. Go to 5. Go to Gate 10 and ask there. I asked the ladies at the Tourist Welcome counter, one of whom was fanning herself while she scrolled her cellphone. The other lady looked up from her block of pink and yellow carbon receipts which she was carefully stamping with the up to date telephone number, using a ruler and a rubber stamp. Their desk seemed to be crowded with technologies which I passionately collected as a child and which I miss. Ink pads, erasers, her fan which folded into a long stripe of feathers.

    Somebody called somebody, who called somebody, who would find the driver and call us back. A man approached the desk at length and said, very kindly, our transfer driver is not here: let me find you a taxi. He gave careful instructions to the taxi driver and to me. “You must pay the toll booth.” Okay, I said. The driver slipped under his seatbelt, which lay against the seat already done up. We passed a truck decorated with gleaming silver ornaments like folded snowflakes cut out of tin, every panel of its side bars was painted joyously by hand. As I reached for my camera the skies opened, and down came that thundering tropical rain.

    I had forgotten. Those high-pitched tiled rooves, the canals lined with palms. I’d forgotten the rain, how everything is saturated within a few seconds. Those open-back, cage-backed little trucks with two long plank benches like for carrying troops. I saw giant billboards empty, made from countless sheets of rusted tin each nailed on individually. I saw lily pads in ponds, little green ditches like streams; the business-like gates unclimbable at every official building. We passed six tiny thatched huts under a corrugated iron roof. We drove in unmeant formation with fellow taxis, some of them bright yellow and lime green, some a deep hot nail varnish pink. Green vines ran up the poles and along the wires. A multi-storey car park was festooned with vines at every floor. Hard up against its sheer grey concrete wall was a row of bamboo houses. Huge swags of wires, as thick as a person’s torso. Little gods with golden wings flying on signs atop very plain buildings.

    At the airport, queuing for passport control, I had avidly read the signs. Buddha is Not for Decoration: Respect Makes Sense! A lady with pearlescent complexion of which she was clearly proud turned her swanlike neck to camera, sharing the secret of her make-up brand: Snail White, the Best White. But I had a secret in turn, which was: the world’s most flawless white is found in the frangipani flower, peerless until it is dropped or touched, when it withers to brown instantly.

    After a while the swarm of rising buildings that is Bangkok drowned in rain. The high rise became invisible. Clustered at ground level, mango trees, bananas. The rain dropped in visible layers of grey bead curtains, like washing hung on the line. We passed a building with 16 air conditioning units piled above its front entrance, like shields, and passed under an overpass where dozens of mopeds sheltered to wait out the storm. I saw trees growing out of buildings everywhere they had worked a crevice. Everything was only an island among trees, like German towns seen from the air.

    “How do I say, ‘thank you’, in Thai?” I asked my driver. “Ko-pung-ka,” he said carefully, and when I repeated it, and then said “Thank you – kopungka” he laughed with delight. “Oh ho ho!”

    He told me, “You kopungka – I kopungkat.” We were laughing with joy. Yet a day later on my minibus ride to the airport I discovered the toll cost is actually 50 Baht, not the 100 he had solemnly charged me at each stop. I’d forgotten that people can rip you off so lovingly. I’d forgotten those long-ago familiar silver signs, each letter clad in silver facing only half of them have peeled away and are now just stained wood. The last thing I saw before we left the freeway was a tiny handmade treehouse open hut, on stilts, directly under a giant blank billboard among treetops as though the city had simply sprung up around it, or like a jungle vine it had simply reseeded. Windows and whole balconies were enclosed in cages. Avocado green concrete building and green sky. Clouds that boiled like surf.

    Venice of the East, they call it. I left my room and went down the fire escape and was immediately in the smell of Asia, a smell of tempest and rotting trash and food. Coming out the back entrance of my bland hotel I walked up to the low hedge shielding the impossibly blue pool from the brown river, which slopped and choked with astonishing things: the whole head of a palm tree. Semi-circles of funeral flowers, large slabs of wood. Turning in at a perilously narrow concrete path that ran alongside the giant machinery of a weir, I was instantly out of the Westernised globe and back in what seems to me the real world: the places where people live, and work.

    Feeling my way and always ready to dip my head, I prowled villages of tiny laneways lined with stacks of buckets and bins. Sprawling heaps of cut bamboo lay wedged alongside roadways and splayed between buildings. Awnings and stalls. More sheets of rain. Milky brown puddles and ingenious paving. A brooding pasture of banana groves fenced in between a fern-lapped village path and a multi-storey car park crowned with dishes. Cats prowling everywhere or sleeping on piles of newspaper and sacking, their tails broken in a way I suppose people find beautiful. Wonderful birds trapped in tiny cages. I took a boat to Wat Pho and walked around it for half an hour before I ventured in. I stepped into an old pasar, which I suppose is the Indonesianised version of what we call a bazaar, and wanted never to leave. Green things stood drowning, festooned with green things. The ferry ran on stinking oil and was laced only very briefly against pier after pier by the insouciant boatman who whistled an elaborate series of instructions to the skipper, unseen overhead. I found complex tangles of tree roots which had become shrines, and a pomegranate collared with blue ribbon that hung in long elegant whorls, to bring fruitfulness. I peered over the concrete fences that were topped with broken glass the way ours at home used to be. A man I had spoken to in the alleyway came walking out over his flat roof. He saw me gazing spellbound into the village of his garden. “Would you like to come in and see?” I said, “Can you tell me – how do I say hello, in Thai, please.” For with thank you and hello, one can pass a glorious thirty-six hours, one can feast on a street stall and watch an old lady with a seamed smile threading rubber bands into a beautiful garland. I drank in everything. My feet were wet and my calves splashed with mud. I took seven hundred photographs on the Sunday and seven hundred more on the Monday, I bought very little and ate a lot. Everything seemed to me natural and true and real. Into the past, into enchantment, into childhood, into piety and reverence and irreverence and glee: the land where shopkeepers sleep behind their counters and people dangle their personal toiletries from a hook on a wall, from the bough of a tree. From the age of twelve torn away from these rich roots I had always, always longed to go back and now I had come home.

  • or anything but

    Two Americans in a coffee shop staffed by Australians. This is Berlin where not everybody bothers to learn German. They come in and order and make themselves comfortable. One starts talking about Sylvia Plath.

    He is reading a book about her life only it’s not very good. “I mean, with Hughes,” he says, sounding oddly over-familiar. They talk about football, which is what everyone is hearing about this week whether they like it or not. Their voices, like the giant screens set up in front of every late night convenience store and in every bar, are loud and blaring. They’ve been raised to expect prizes for participating and the world is their awe, yeah.

    “I’m not patriotic or anything,” the girl says. In my mind I hear: “I’m not racist, or anything, but,” which invariably heralds the most racist remarks. This is my favourite of the yeahbuts, which I pronounce to rhyme with rarebit. Equal favourite is the woeful, “I mean I’m not a feminist or anything, but – ” which, oddly enough, is necessary to preface anti-sexist ideas.

    “I know,” the guy says, quickly. “I’m not patriotic, either.”

    “…But when it comes to football,” he says, ” – I’m strangely patriotic!”

    They laugh, looking away from each other. She confides, “Me too. I just want the little guys to win. I mean, not – win,” she says.

    “No,” he says, “you want them to win.” There is a moment of silence as this sinks in.

    I am writing in a cafe where punks come in to beg from hipsters. Punk is the indigenous nation of Berlin, they built the poor but sexy reputation that has lured all these web designers and makers of cupcakes, now they are thrown out on their own lands and rely on bottle collecting, ingenious begging, ever more resourceful squats. This week I was cycling down a sunny street when a woman accosted me in French. Did I know where there was a squat nearby which she could visit? “You realise these are people’s homes,” I said. “You can’t just go in and… take photographs.” I directed to her to a large, enterprising commune which hosts open air cinema evenings in the warmer months. Her lip curled. “That place… is filled with tourists.”

    This cafe is on a street rapidly filling up with ice cream shops and children’s shoe stores: the twin signs, to my mind, of gentrification. I am part of the problem. But these strange twenty-five-year olds leave me feeling more foreign than any German ever did. They are talking now about their projects, and about some elder expert. “I’m thinking of getting him as my mentor for the project,” she says, as though the famous professor were a new brand of wallpaper. “I think maybe it would be good for me.” As though everything were a new brand of wallpaper. As though wallpaper were a background on one’s sharp black cell phone and would never need to be hung with paper and with sweat and paste, at all.

  • opportunista

    In the supermarket I was queuing in front of a woman with a lot of groceries. Her arms were laden and I stepped aside to offer her the space to put her stuff down on the conveyor. Germans are possessive about their conveyor space and it remains the only country where I have ever had someone not only install one of the little dividers between my groceries and his, but then lean across me to reinstate the missing divider between mine and the person’s in front of me; then rock back on his heels and give a satisfied nod, saying to himself almost sweetly, “Hmmphf.”

    The woman spilled her goods onto the belt and said, “Ich hab’ gerade ‘was vergessen. Kannst du…” She had forgotten something, she darted away into the aisles and disappeared. I said hello to the guy with all the piercings who works the register. He scanned my bunches of vegetables one at a time. The woman slipped back into her place in the queue and put one of those toilet ducks on the belt beside her things. She smiled at me. Her smile, and the fact that she’d used du rather than Sie earlier, gave me a slender opportunity and I made the most of it.

    “Kannst du bitte – das nächste Mal – vielleicht daran denken, etwas ein kleines bisschen umweltgesunder zu probieren?” Couldn’t you please, next time, perhaps think of trying something a bit environmentally healthy? I tipped the plastic duck-beaked bottle to show her. “This stuff is complete poison. It goes down the drain and comes back out the tap, goes into our rivers. There is a brand called – Frog, I think they sell it here, you might try it.” I strove to sound as casual and off-handed as I could. This is perhaps the five hundredth such conversation I have had in a grocery store with a stranger and I’ve got skills. “Have you ever thought about trying the recycled paper toilet tissue?” I’ll ask, sidling up like a flasher in the aisle. “Ah, no,” they might say, looking startled. Often they confide they have sensitive skin and it’s supposed to be much scratchier. Oh, good god. Around us in the shadows rainforests fall to bulldozers and orangutans limp away from palm oil plantations so that we can eat our corn chips and make our soap. “Actually, it’s softer,” I always say. I’m smiling. “I mean – it’s been pulped twice.”

  • illicit flower factory

    Today my boyfriend discovered the illicit dried flower factory I have been running in his apartment. At first glance it looks as though a two-dimensional squirrel has made herself a nest out of private papers and unwanted official letters retrieved from the waste paper bin beside his desk.

    “What’s this?” he said, lifting away the heavy row of comic books along the shelf to reveal my little stack of flattened envelopes and folded paper.

    “Uhm,” I said, “that’s my dried flower factory. I have one at home, as well.”

    The whole city has burst into bloom and the streets are filled with love. On our way down to the post office a man in the street grabs me, both hands clasping my forearm in a grip surprisingly determined and strong. An African man, bearded, handsome, long muscular arms and that’s all I see of him. He is smiling, pleading, manly, he is wooing me in his own language. “Danke,” I keep saying, “Danke, nein, ich muss ~ ” and wrenching my arm away I turn back to the taller man I have come out with, my beloved, who is bristling and who wraps his hand possessively about me at the waist. “What was that?” he asks, “you don’t know that guy?” “No,” I say, “he just really liked me.” “You look confident today. But why would he grab you while you’re kissing me?” he growled, looking over his shoulder in a feint.

    “Well, that’s why,” I say, having understood the man in an instant. Perfect attraction is like that, if it so often only lasts a moment. “He liked it, I think, that I was laughing and teasing and reaching for you. I think maybe he thought, I’d like a woman to look at me that way and to kiss me like she loved me. I’d like that woman.”

    He isn’t really worried, because he knows I love him. Other men casting glances and women looking at him are not new. And I know that he loves me too, he treats me beautifully and his dark sweetness and deep limpid loving heart are my water and my salt in the desert of city sugar and fat. And I know that he understands me, better than the guy who grabbed me in the street and would not let go, his eyes imploring and his smile broad, might ever do.

  • camera ambulance

    Is it Germans who are so trusting, or just Berliners? A woman cycled up with her grandchild, I think grandchild, in a netted baby trailer and parked her bike under the tree where we were standing. We were waiting for the guy who repairs cameras, as I had dropped mine onto the cobblestones an hour before. His window was dusty and the handwritten sign promising, “Ich bin gleich wieder für Sie da,” was not convincing. Peering in I had the impression he maybe hadn’t been “there for us” in a century or more. The woman glanced up at the staircase leading into the house she as visiting. She glanced at us. “Sind Sie noch ein Paar Minuten da?”

    The child was sleeping and the stairs were steep: she clearly didn’t want to have to rouse him carry him, lock everything. Oh, yes, I said: we are waiting for the camera guy, we’ll be here a few more minutes, “wir passen auf Ihr Kind auf.” We will look after your child. Oh, thank you, she said, and bounded up the stairs – actually bounded – without so much as locking her bike.

    Is it Berliners who are so fit, or just Germans?

    The camera guy came strolling magnificently down the street carrying a little notepad. His belly was broad and his gait wide and easy. “That’s him,” said my partner, “it’s got to be.” And we were right – the guy pulled up outside the shop window and gazed at the small group which had gathered. “Ein richtiges Kamera-Party,” I said, we’re just having a bit of a camera party. He laughed, the sun is finally out and everybody is happy. The shop is called Camera Ambulance. Just as he was unlocking the door the grandmother came leaping down the stairs to collect her child. “Danke,” she said, and I told her cheerfully, “Der wollte nach München, um seine eigene Karriere zu folgen – ich habe ihn überredet.” He was keen to set off for Munich in pursuit of his own career – but I talked him out of it. “Ah! that’s a relief, many thanks,” she said, giving her fresh beautiful smile. On the cycle ride home we followed a woman with such a gloriously high round arse that as she was pedalling I turned to point her out to him, and he was on the verge of pointing her out to me. Berlin is filled with beauty. And babies. Perhaps it is not so much an attack of baby fever as the fact that all the babies who exist hereabouts already have now woken from their long sweet winter sleeps and taken to the streets, they are strolling in carriages, towed by their parents’ bikes, sitting nodding in half dozens in the large buckets on wheels by which local kindergartens transport their charges. If you gaze in at the window of a Kinderladen (a local ‘children shop’) you will see sweet little low tables with tiny chairs set with plates and sturdy cups, at which the Kinderladen staff crouch down to sit at child level, while everyone is served a proper hot lunch.